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Advice given on December 17, 2021.

Dear Jay,

I find myself in a quandary. I’ve been invited to two birthday parties for two different friends on the same night. Both events are dinners, and are scheduled at virtually the same time, so it is impossible for me to attend both. How do I decide which to attend? Can I manage this without letting the other friend down? While these two people are not close friends themselves, they follow each other on social media and will see my picture at whichever event I choose to attend. I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place; are there any good options here?

-Popular Person

Dear Popular Person,

I guess this is a fortunate problem to have? I can say I’ve never experienced this myself. However I do think you have several options in this scenario. You can choose one party to attend and tell the other friend what you are going to be doing, then the social media post about the event will not surprise the friend whose party you skip. Alternatively, and this might be the option I would choose, you could skip both events, avoiding the awkward social media pictures and subsequent fallout, and also giving yourself a quiet night in.

Sorry that this is all I’ve been able to come up with, maybe I wasn’t the best advice columnist to approach with this particular question. If this is unsatisfactory, maybe try asking Amy or Jeeves.

All the best,