3 minute read

Advice given on January 28, 2022.

Avocado Pizza?

Hey Jay,

I went over a friend’s house to make some pizza and hang out. Naturally we had to discuss pizza toppings. He proposed we top our pizza with avocado of all things. This sounded absurd to me, so I figured he was joking and I went along with it - “yeah dude totally” (or something like that). When he actually grabbed an avocado and started slicing it up, I realized it wasn’t a joke. Now I like an avocado as much as the next person, or so I thought, but I wasn’t prepared to have it on pizza. When I told my friend I was joking, and I’d never eat avocado on pizza he got offended. I told him avocado on pizza was ridiculous, and this didn’t go over well. Kinda put a damper on our chill evening, so I’d like to smooth this over. How can I convince my friend I’m not a pizza topping snob?

Thank you,

Papa Guac

Papa Guac,

Well you’ve gotten yourself into a cheesy mess here. I can confess to having eaten pizza with avocado as a topping before. I will say that I have not repeated the experience since, as the avocado didn’t improve the quality of my slice.

My experiences with avocado on pizza aside, I don’t know how big of a problem this is. If your friend seems overly touchy after this experience, maybe you should open up about one of your weird food habits, we’ve all got them after all. But I am optimistic that a genuine apology will resolve this issue. Maybe offer to bring over guacamole and chips to snack on the next time you both have a pizza night.

Humbly yours,


Oat Milk

Hi Jay,

I’ve recently found out that I am lactose intolerant and would like to switch from dairy milk to an alternative product. I have heard a lot about oat milk in recent years, and was wondering - what do you think of oat milk? Do you have a favorite brand?

Thank you,



If you are unhappy with this recent turn of events, I would like to reassure you that plenty of people are lactose intolerant or lactose sensitive, so you definitely have company in that regard. I’ll briefly mention that oat milk is not the only kind of dairy milk alternative, so you aren’t stuck with oat milk if you find you dislike the taste.

But anyway, to your question, I have indeed had oat milk and I find it to be quite nice. I’ve had it with coffee, and I’ve also sipped plain oat milk. However, I am far from an oat milk connoisseur; I think I’ve only had 2 different brands of the stuff. The first oat milk I had was produced by Oatly, one of the leaders in the oat milk space. I tried them based on a friend’s recommendation, and I do think that Oatly is the GOATly (greatest of all time). Their oat milk is capable of frothing up nicely in a coffee, and has a similar body and consistency to dairy milk. As I’m located in central Texas at the moment, I have also tried the HEB (a regional grocery chain) brand oat milk. Honestly, no complains about their version either. I believe Oatly is available across Europe and the US at this point, so I definitely recommend trying them out. If you’ve got access to HEB, I’d say you should try theirs too.

Anyway, I’m off to contact Oatly about doing some marketing for them with this new “Oatly the GOATly” slogan I’ve coined. Hope this was slightly helpful!